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Simon Cowell Builds £35million Barbados Palace by imonz69

The secret is out. The monstrous edifice approaching completion across from the now-derelict Coach House in St. James that Sir Norman Foster – the world’s greatest living architect – called “the ugliest most inappropriate building in the West Indies” belongs to X Factor and American Idol judge Simon Cowell.

Despite massive protests from Bajans of all hues, that the multi-storey building would be considered an eyesore even in the United Arab Emirates and signals the end of Barbados as a quaint tropical island with quaint little beachfront shacks inhabited by quaint friendly flying-fish-frying natives Cowell successfully fought-off injunction after injunction to build his £35million White House wanabee.

Constructed on a 10-acre previously “protected” bird sanctuary wetland where 5 families eked-out a modest living both brewing and selling liquid and aerosol spray bird-dropping repellents in 3 sizes the bachelor pad will feature mirrored walls and ceilings – especially ceilings – in the 46 bedrooms, on the linings of his 5 swimming pools and for a joke on his 2 helipads.

Asked why Cowell called the pile “The Sands” the Barbados property developer handling the Buckingham Palace wanabee said it was to honour the man who was Tina Sinatra’s first husband. (Ed. Frank’s daughter.)


The luxurious project will be Cowell’s fifth home on the island – he already owns a £15 million villa where he keeps his shirts and sunglasses and a modest £5 million villa where has been spending Christmas and New Year with his ex-girlfriend Sinitta, Michael Winner who tells his Sunday Times readers he’s actually staying at Sandy Lane Hotel but can’t afford it and anyway Cowell lets him stay with him free for services rendered, the ex-Chairman of Marks & Spencer, and her two children.

A source told KoolBarbados: ‘Simon says the project is his pride and joy and that he’ll be personally overseeing the whole building process down to screwing light-bulbs.

‘He is undecided at the moment about whether he will sell his other homes or not or even sleep in his new mansion.

‘He’s so loaded he might keep all of them. It’s a luxury he can afford.’

Of the new home, the source added: ‘No expense will be spared. It will have all the latest gizmos, boy’s toys, girl’s toys and just adult  ‘toys’ if you get my drift.

‘Cowell has been very specific about the mirror panels in all bedrooms. Imported from Venice and hand blown by artisans.

‘He thinks they will be hilarious and can’t wait to show them – and him – off.’

Cowell is believed to be Britain’s highest paid TV star, with an estimated fortune of £730million which compares favourably with the U.K.’s current GDP and National Debt.

He is notoriously generous, and despite losing an estimated £30million in the current Bernard Madoff Ponzi scam he gave all his workers BluRay DVD’s of all 15 seasons of American Idol for Christmas in lieu of cash.


His mother, Julie Cowell, said: ‘I would still love to see Simon settle down and I believe, one day, he will.

‘But as for having any children, I’m not so sure I want any more.’

CAUTION: During construction of this property much heavy – and light – equipment was used. Causing Highway 1 between the now defunct and delelict Crocodile’s Den and Sandy Lane Hotel to be a major source of shock absorber damage.

Read the following article or consult the 1st official accurate Barbados island-wide pothole map for exact pothole locations.

If you want more Cowell The Baruba Post has an interesting article today explaining why he picked Barbados for this latest extravaganza. But if you’re expecting hairy-nipple pictures you’ll be “sadly disappointed.”

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