Say Hello to Kool Barbados


Who’s Better in Bed? In Black and White by wardenid

A Letter to the Editor

Why can’t we discuss it openly?
Published on: 2/22/09.

IS BARBADOS also a nation of cowards, lovers or waiters where race is concerned?

Barack Obama’s choice for the post of Attorney-General of the United States, whose roots are Bajan, has said that the United States is a nation of cowards because White men just won’t accept that Black men are better lovers and last longer too.

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So what about Barbados – a nation where more that 90 per cent of the population is Black? I’m over it now but I too foolishly once believed that Whites are just as good lovers as Blacks if not more so.

When I was married to Joan, we consciously held private parties only for Whites. It’s just the way things were back then. The appearance of a single Black not serving drinks or canapes was rare. After firing a rum or five the conversation always revolved around the question “Are Whites really not as good in bed as Blacks?” I often wondered why some guests acted sheepishly. Were the men embarrassed and the women eager to keep their innermost desires secret?

On weekends we would go boating with all Whites and mainly discuss if Whites were better in bed than Blacks. We’d pass private boats on the coast carrying only Blacks who were laughing more than us and we wondered if they were discussing the same thing.

When I was married to Sylvia we held parties after race meetings at Bushy Park. Once some Blacks lost their way home in the dark  and showed up uninvited but we grudgingly let them in and it was there that I discovered Black men also pee standing up. That was quite a shock I can tell you. But I asked the man who, incidentally stood much further back than me from the urinal, frankly if it’s possible that Whites could be as good as Blacks in bed and could he show me how.

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When I was married to Margaret we’d discuss openly who was better in bed. We’d do research watching blue movies and sadly, shortly after we watched something called “Pimp Daddy Develpment” that aroused even me she left me without so much as a note and went to live with a well known Jamaican Test cricketer in Baruba.

Sadly, this is when I came to accept much of what is said about Black men is true. But I’m over it.

Now, married to Shamika, we’re invited to fully integrated private parties where we Whites discuss openly with Blacks if it’s true what they say about Black men. I consider this to be great progress. For me personally and Barbados in general.

Now when we go boating, Whites and Blacks drinking happily together we pass private boats on the coast carrying only sad faced Whites or laughing Blacks. I tell Shamika, “I bet they’re discussing who’s better in bed like I used to.”

I have written this letter because I believe we in Barbados could be a much stronger nation in every way if we would stop pussyfooting around the “Who’s better in bed” issue.

Be more open and honest with each other and mix more sexually.

I can tell you White folks out there who are reading this that Black folks have one hell of a sense of humour and they can be really fun to go to bed with (except my wife if I have a few too many rum and cokes and she starts talking about my past sexual inadequacies).

And a word to Black folks. Whites, with some exceptions (my brother Sir Chucky and the McConnachie clan for example), tend to be a bit intimidated talking about “the distance standing away from the urinal” because they are more conservative and the reluctance to spend money is ingrained from birth; so don’t hold it against them.

Embrace them, f*!k them and help them to lighten up.

Happy mixing! – FUZZY WILLIAMSON

(Ed. This letter arrived before we saw a very similar letter in today’s Sunday Nation.)

And remember you saw it here first.

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Simon Cowell Knocked-Senseless by Barbados Beauty by imonz69

Of such stories are Hollywood legends created.

Immensely successful TV show host, media entrepreneur and music business mogul Simon Cowell is currently taking a well-deserved break in Barbados.

After remaining incognito for a couple of days during unseasonably inclement weather he was seen yesterday off the West Coast close to his rented luxury villa in The Garden, St, James, in trendy shades and open-to-the-waist life-jacket zooming above the light swell on a gaudy blue wave-runner.

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Later he was seen dining with friends at the Fish Pot – Barbados’ currently “in” restaurant.

Normally a man of carefully-created mystery who shuns impromptu interviews with journalists he uncharacteristically opened up his soul to a Hollywood “Hollywood Reporter” reporter who’d wheedled a suite in the Little Good Harbour Hotel to get a guaranteed table in the restaurant hoping to have a Cowell (or other prominent) “spotting.”

For obvious reasons the HR reporter refused to give specific details of their conversation until his own organ spills the beans. But he did say to Barbados press representatives when questioned later, “Mr. Cowell told me he’s “thunderballed” (Ed. He probably said or meant “thunderstruck.”) by finding an 18-year-old sweet Barbados “honey” – his words – more gorgeous than Halle Berry, a body beyond Beyonce and with a wider vocal range than Leona Lewis. He also admitted he felt quite faint when he first saw her. And that’s all I’m prepared to say at the moment.”

The local scribes pressed for more details but the HR man remained mum. Even when a Nation cub reporter asked “just tell us where Cowell found the body? I’ve been scouring Barbados for one like that for years.”

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