Say Hello to Kool Barbados


Baruba Post Online Censored by Barbados “blogger” by wardenid

Today’s Baruba Post Editorial: (Published in its entirety.)

As a newspaper with the proud tradition and heritage of serving Barubans faithfully for almost 88 years The Post recognises the Internet has caused the news playing-field to tilt dramatically as so-called “bloggers” swamp our browsers with information largely gleaned initially from respectable print organs like ourselves.

Do we fear “bloggers?” Do we think they’ll force us print vehicles out of business? Will advertisers spend all their money with Google?

The Post’s answer to all three is a resounding “NO.”

Why? Because if they live long enough and get sufficient “hits” blogs – and the “bloggers” behind them – start to think what they publish is of any significance. You can easily spot when this happens. When the “blogger” starts to take herself – or himself – seriously.

Case in point: A Barbados “blogger” who seems most interested in the number of hits he – or she – generates on Google.

And who writes about every topic with screaming headlines as if he/she is our only source of news..

Cases in point:

Pakistan On Verge Of Collapse – Taliban Heading For Islamabad and Nuclear Weapons

Or

Swine Flu Scare Decimates International Travel – Barbados Suffers With Other Prime Destinations

And censored a trivial “comment” by a junior Post employee making fun of “Swine Flu” and “enhanced interrogation techniques.”

How do you know when your “blogger” has lost it?

When he/she becomes as irrelevant, as nutty – and irritatingly self-important – to you as the call-in radio hosts.

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Swine Flu Latest – Barbados Joins Baruba Tourist Kissing Ban by wardenid

Reuters: Bridgetown, Barbados, 10:31am (ET) Monday 27 April, 2009

Taken from today’s Baruba Post Online in its entirety.

Alarmed by wall-to-wall, round-the-clock news reports from North America about the rapid uncontrolled spread of swine flu the titular head of the Baruban Ministry of Health, Beauty & More & More Safer Sex, Dr. Winston J. Scantlebury MD, OBE, PhD, today issued a stern mandate to the people of Baruba in his eagerly-awaited early morning Twitter.

In 140 characters – or less – he said, “Until further notice, Barubans are hereby and henceforth warned not to kiss North American tourists arriving from Canada, Mexico and the USA. More later on my nightly Facebook.”

The Post has learned this drastic measure was prompted by a dire warning from Dr. Richard Besser, acting director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta, Ga.

“This is moving fast and we expect to see more cases. I advise Americans to wash their hands frequently, to cover coughs and sneezes and to stay home if they fall ill. I also urge all citizens to wear masks and not kiss or touch anyone. Especially in densely forested low-lying tropical areas.”

A leading  Baruban Shoreline Executive when asked to comment said this could severely damage his income. I’ll just have to give prolonged body-rubs with more sensitivity than usual. On the husbands too, if they ever get over their initial shyness.”

A Barbados Health Ministry spokesperson said “We’re completely behind Baruba on this one. We’ll be giving more details later on MySpace and YouTube.”

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Swine Flu Symptoms – Test Thyself by wardenid

Wishing to keep Barbados free of the latest panic pandemic from tomorrow – Monday – all passengers traveling to the island will be asked to answer 4 simple questions correctly at their port of embarkation before being allowed on their plane or ship.

1) Do you laugh when late-night comics make jokes about torture?

2) Do you believe the highest-ranking government officials who sanctioned waterboarding should be put on trial and executed if found guilty like we did to the Japanese and Germans and made patriotic movies about them after WWII?

3) Have you used the expression “enhanced interrogation techniques” instead of the word “torture” in the past 14 days?

4) Have you – or any member of your traveling party – been on a farm recently?

More than one “yes” and you’ll have to find yourself another tropical island paradise.

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