Say Hello to Kool Barbados

St. Peter’s Bay Barbados – What “Private Beachfront?” by imonz69


With the UK now officially in recession, with the economy shrinking at its fastest rate for nearly 30 years we’re sorry to hear you’ve lost most of your fortune. Through no fault of your own. Well, perhaps through some fault of your own. Like profligate spending instead of saving for a sunny day in Barbados. But no use crying over spilt…etc.

Gone are the university fees, the 2010 BMW, the promise from your bank manager – who no longer works there – to finance a luxury apartment on a tropical private beach (see above) and if that wasn’t bad enough you don’t know if, and when, you’ll be able to retire before 68 with enough funds to live off even by scraping through on sardines and the other bare necessities.

Well, we can’t help you. Sorry about that.

But this might cheer you up.

It’s common practice in advertisements for luxury gated beachfront property in Barbados to make potential buyers think they are getting a private beach. It’s never actually spelled-out. Fudge words are used to make you think the beach is private.

Here’s a classic example from St. Peter’s Bay which in their own words…

“…is a new private beachfront community on the exclusive West Coast of Barbados developed by an experienced team with a proven track record in successful real estate development. The design offers expansive ocean views, privacy, spacious floor plans, high quality finishes, and numerous amenities. This project promises to be one of the island’s premier beachfront developments.”

Reading that you’d expect a “private beachfront” – whatever that means. We’d bet whoever coined it wanted you to think “private beach.” And looking here you’d also think, “Wow that’s some kind of private beach!”


Well the only “private beachfront” at this development is the “private beach front of the property.” i.e. The front wall of the property facing the beach.


Yes, the very few, mainly Russians, left with enough money to buy outright or get financing on their St. Peter’s Bay private beachfront pad will look down from their $5.8 million investment to see and hear happy screaming kids playing football, lovers necking in that still and always azure-blue sea, nighttime bonfires with breadfruits roasting, loud soca and reggae music – incidentally, things locals have been doing on their precious Barbados beaches for generations – and no elite squad of armed & uniformed security guards with ferocious pit bulls can keep them away.

And to the vast silent and humbled majority out there unable to sleep at nights and panicking over the retirement question, come on be honest, aren’t you glad you lost all your money before signing a contract to buy so you don’t have the added burden of staggering lawyers fees to release you from the deal by suing the developers, claiming false advertising promised you a private beach?

Altogether now, say “Thank you, KoolBarbados.”

And remember you read it here first.


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